Hello, my name is Elizabeth, (but my name tag reads "Morgan"), and I work at a used bookstore.
I've started this blog to chronicle my life working in the bizarre world of the independent used bookseller, the creatively named, Books For Less.
Don't expect any sort of great literary masterpiece in this blog, grammatical and spelling errors may abound. I read and sell books, I don't write them.
First off, here are a few things you should know about the world of Books For Less.
1. The music is terrible. Occasionally something great will come on like The Beach Boys or some Classic Country, but mostly it's just Cats. Yes, the musical Cats. All Day. Everyday. While browsing through the hand-made shelves you may also hear some pretty interesting folk music with lyrics proclaiming how "he kissed me so hard it broke my jaw". Or you might hear Henry Higgins shouting out "Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn! I've grown accustomed to her face." while you look for a copy of
If You Gave a Mouse a Cookie.
2. The owners are very religious, which results in the banning of books. Pretty much anything that goes against the owner's opinions gets tossed in the recycling, this is the saddest part about my job. But it's sort of a strange selection of what is allowed and what is not. For example, we won't carry Chelsea Handler's
Chelsea, Chelsea Bang, Bang because a dog is looking up her skirt on the cover, which allegedly alludes to bestiality, while on the other hand we have an entire paranormal romance section which is mainly filled with books about sex with animals who turn into people.
3. Working at a bookstore is not as fun as it sounds. I know, I know, when I filled out my application and answered the strange questions about how I thought the world was created, I was imagining what a hip and fun job working at a bookstore would be. I was wrong. It's a pretty strenuous job. Lifting 50lb boxes full of romance novels and shelving more than 100 books a day gets to you after a while. When you start the job you expect to be chatting about literature and reading all day, but that is a serious misconception. If you aren't up to your eyes in Tom Clancy, you're helping somebody find a particular "arthur".
4. We sell cheap books. I mean, our prices are fantastic. Everything used in the store, is 40% off and is an additional 50% off after you use our magical "Store Points." What are these Store Points, you ask? Well, when you bring used books into the store we'll give you Store Points for those. The points are in a dollar format and we give you half of what we sell the book for, and then you can use those store points to get up to half off of anything used in our store. Now, hold your horses there. Let's clear up a few misconceptions about these wonderful points before we go any further.
Firstly, no matter how many points you have, you will never have enough points to get a book for free. We'd never stay in business this way, and we really like your money because we really like to eat and pay the light bill, bro. Besides, this isn't a library.
Secondly, your points won't work on new books. We have to pay to get those books in, and we're already doing you a favor giving them to you at 10% - 25% off. Again, we like eating.
Thirdly, only bring in one bag or one box per week. We really don't want your 18 boxes of Danielle Steel. Honestly, we really don't want your Danielle Steel at all. We have more than we could ever need already.
Hopefully, I haven't scared you off yet. It may be a shitty job, but it's my shitty job and I wouldn't trade it for anything. (Except, you know, for a better job.) The pay's not bad either.
But, really, if you're ever in Georgia, make sure you stop by. You never know what strange things lie in our rickety shelves.
-Elizabeth
